I love Oprah, but...

For the life of me I cannot understand why there is still an audience for Oprah's diet shows.  I saw a show recently and Oprah was an authority, along with her exercise guru, Bob Greene, who was hawking a new book, about tips to lose weight loss and keep it weight off forever.

I do not argue the fact that Oprah knows how to lose weight.  We've seen evidence of this over her twenty year reign on daytime television.  What we have not been witness to is Oprah keeping off the weight over a long period of time.  (Please note, the Oprah and friends photo is circa 2008.)

Oprah consistently gains twenty pounds or more annually. So my question is, why would anyone listen to her tell them how to keep off the pounds?  Sure I could take Oprah's advice on:

1) How to have a successful career in television

2) How to be an accomplished television producer

3) How to break into acting

4) How to become a billionaire

5) How to be a life partner in a long-term relationship

6) How to overcome sexual abuse

7) How to be a philanthropist

8) How to start a school for underprivileged girls

9) How to run a magazine

10) How to smile at celebrities who are obviously lying to you on your own show

But advice on keeping the weight off?  Sorry, Oprah.  I'll stick with Jenny Craig.

 

Madonna and A-Rod

"So do you think their marriage can survive this?"  I asked.

Martin, my boyfriend of a few months, slowly turned his attention away from his computer and looked at me from across the room with a blank stare.

"What?" he asked confused.

"Madonna and Guy.  Do you think their marriage can survive this media crisis?"  I clarified.  The news frenzy surrounding Madonna and A-Rod's alledged affair was turning into a virtual tsunami and I was firmly caught in the whirlwind.

Martin looked at me as though I had asked him to solve a calculus equation with his fingers. 

"Why would I care about Madonna and the state of her marriage?" he asked.

"Well, I know you don't care, but it's current events," I reasoned. "We should stay abreast. You never know if the breakdown in their marriage could someday be a useful learning point that we could apply to our own.  Should we get married..."  I mumbled as an afterthought.  For a second, I questioned if I should have let him see this vacuous side of my personality in which I indulged unabashedly.

He chuckled at my nonsensical answer, turned, and continued to search for business opportunities online without response.

I decided right then and there that I should re-focus my attention on things that really matter in life!  Things that are important and could positively affect not only the course of my life, but also of others.  I picked up the remote, firm in my resolution to spend my leisure time more constructively, and turned to Entertainment Tonight.

Rome, as you may have heard, was not built in a day.  Not to mention that I am a woman who believes in experiencing the total human experience.  I indulge in healthy foods, junk foods, exercise, recline, achievement, play, John Steinbeck and Us Weekly.

After all, if this story is being covered by CNN, FoxNews, MSNBC,  The New York Post, The Daily News, The New York Times, Today Show, Good Morning America and presumably hundreds of other news media outlets throughout the world...how could it possibly be junk?

 

The Dark Hype

I admit it.  I got sucked into the hype machine for the new feature film The Dark Knight.  The dark trailers with just a hint of Batman and The Joker left me salivating for more.  The speculation that the role was so emotionally exhausting for Heath Ledger that it caused him sleeping problems sparked curiousity.  The sold out shows days before the film opened.  The critics unanimous rave reviews about the impending summer blockbuster made my heart palpitate. 

Alas, I saw the film and clearly I missed something.  I was greatly disappointed.  In all fairness, I did not see the entire film.  I saw about an hour and a half of the two and a half hour movie. 

Here are my major gripes with The Dark Knight:

1.  IMAX.  Never again will I see a film in IMAX.  I was fascinated by the monstrous black pit that was Christian Bales' nostril, however, I don't think that's what the director had intended to be so captivating in his movie.   Not to mention I had to look over my shoulder to see all the characters in a shot.  IMAX is beautiful for landscape shots but not so much for talking heads.

2.  Time.  Way, way too long for a film that is story driven instead of character driven.  The Godfather, yes.  The Dark Knight, no.

3.  The script.  The Joker was an unbelievably great character and Heath Ledger has done a better job than any other actor at protraying the Joker.  So why couldn't he have had snappier lines other than, "You wanna know how I got this scar?"  (Which he repeated about three times.)

4.  Preaching.  After my forty-five minute nap in the theater, I awakened to so much preaching about good and evil that I thought I was in church!

5.  Batman's voice.  I found the raspy and obviously mechanically enhanced voice distracting.  I wanted to offer him a Halls or Ricola or something.  I don't recall his voice being so annoying in Batman Begins. 

Having said all that, I am heading back to the theater to watch the film again without the IMAX experience.  If everyone is raving about the film then clearly I missed something.  And who wants to be the odd man out?

Smart Women, Stupid Men

Why do smart women tolerate stupid men?  What qualifies as a stupid man?  A man who has a beautiful wife, healthy children, a successful career yet risks it all for sex with unsavory women, young girls or professional prostitutes.

What takes these women so long to pack their bags up and leave?  Devotion to family?  Do so many women really disillusion themselves to believe that their children can't feel the tension in a dysfunctional family and instead decide it's better for the child if the wife stays with her louse of a husband? 

Christie Brinkley should take a break from men.  Four divorces should motivate her to take a pause from her romantic life and begin to ask herself why she constantly chooses the wrong men. On second thought, maybe these women aren't so smart after all.

Cynthia Rodriguez has boldly waked down the street, arm in arm with her husband, Alex, the day after the New York newspapers announced yet another affair with yet another stripper.  With a broad smile on her face, she has thumbed her nose at the public's interest in her personal life and defiantly stood by her man.  Now she is conducting interviews with those same papers, namely Cindy Adams with the New York Post, attempting to look like a martyr (for her children's benefit) and victim (for the public's benefit) all at the same time.

Silda Spitzer. Karlita Kilpatrick (wife of disgraced Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick). Hillary Clinton. Kathie Lee Gifford.  The list of smart women who tolerate philandering husbands goes on and on.  And if history is any indication, the list of high profile married men to be caught in a sexual scandal will continue to grow.

What lessons are we teaching our young girls and boys?

 

Dear Sheri Shepherd...

Dear Ms. Shepherd,

I recently read an online article that quoted you as saying that you had experienced a low point in your life when you slept with several men and had more abortions than you woud like to count.

My question to you, Ms. Shepherd, is why?  Why would you make a comment about a highly personal event in your life, especially when it is regarding a bitterly divisive subject such as abortion?  Perhaps it was made to encourage the young women in the world who are in similar situations and you seek to inspire them.  But is it necessary for a celebrity to expose their deepest, darkest, most shameful experiences to lift up others?  Is nothing sacred anymore?

A few months ago, when Whoopi Goldberg asked you if the world was flat or round, you admitted you did not know.  You claimed you were too busy raising your children to brush up on second grade geography.

Ms. Shepherd, in my estimation, your job may be in jeaopardy.  As well it should be.  The world needs women on "The View" to be insightful, smart, confident, inspiring, funny and humble.  If you choose not to raise the bar for yourself, could you please do the women of the world a favor and exit stage left?

Sincerely,
REason